bloodydiadem: house arrest wouldn’t even be a punishment for me a real punishment would be sending me outside. Where do I go?
nosdrinker: i keep forgetting that there are people i know in real life who follow me on here i’m so so sorry
me during shower time: What is my mission here on earth? What would have happened if Hitler got killed before he started the war? What if is there's a bigger force controlling us right now?
me almost falling asleep: I think I've solved the mystery of Atlantis and the cure for cancer and starvation in Africa and the problems for all bad things in the universe
me during the day: lol how do I spell house?
Martin Freeman is one of God’s funniest men on this planet and a joy to work...– Benedict Cumberbatch, BAFTAs 2012 (via reichenfall)
I would never unfollow anyone for posting personal...
I love when people say "that's not real music"
sodamnrelatable: oh I’m sorry I was unaware that I was listening to imaginary music that only I could hear. via sodamnrelatable
tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think youre clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?– A.Y. (via castergirl13)
Friend: I hope you're happy.
Me: I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this, I really hope you get it and you don't live to regret it. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY IN THE ENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, MY FRIEND! SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME, LOOK INTO THE WESTERN SKY AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHANCE TO FLY AND IF I'M FLYING SOLO AT LEAST I'M FLYING FREE TO THOSE WHO'D GROUND ME TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY, I'M FLYING HIGH, DEFYING GRAVITY, AND SOON I'LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN, AND NOBODY IN ALL OF OZ, NO WIZARD THAT THERE IS OR WAS, IS EVER GONNA BRING ME DOWN! BRING ME DOWN! AW WAH WAH WAH WAH-AAAAAAAAH!
a blogger walks into a bar theres free wi-fi he stays forever
nanflanagan: a moment of silence for all the teenage couples who compare themselves to Romeo and Juliet
Reblog if you'll answer anything in your ask right...